


Allow Myself to Dream

by meangreenlimabean



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s03e12 Uprising, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hallucinations, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-21 07:13:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4820030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meangreenlimabean/pseuds/meangreenlimabean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wrote this after Uprising but I just noticed that it wasn't on here! Inspired by this Felicity quote from the show: “When you were gone, for almost a month… I allowed myself to fantasize. To dream that maybe, just maybe, Merlyn was wrong. That you were alive, that you’d come back, and that when you did, maybe you’d be different. That almost dying would give you a new perspective on life. That you would do things differently.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Allow Myself to Dream

Felicity did not want to cry.  If she let herself break down, it meant Oliver was really gone.  She’d been able to keep it together so far.  Seeing that bloody sword was too much, even for her.  At least she had made it home before the waterworks began. ****

Now, two hours later, she was a useless heap on the bathroom floor.  She had cried herself out.  Her face was puffy and red, her chest ached, and she never bothered to change out of the dress she’d worn to work.  She just wanted the ache to stop.  Angry and exhausted, she regretted not grabbing a bottle of something strong from the Verdant storeroom.  Passing out would be nice right about now.

Pushing herself up, she propped her back against the side of the tub.  She rested her forehead on her knees.  There was only one thing that could end this unbearable pain.

She could almost hear his voice, quiet but full of concern.  “Hey, come here, you.”

Felicity shook her head, not looking up.  “You’re dead,” she whispered.

The tile floor was hard and cold; she couldn’t sleep here.  Reaching up, she held on to the edge of the sink and got to her feet.  As soon as she could reach the light switch, she turned off the blinding vanity light.  Her bed wasn’t too far away, she could just make it.  Bleary-eyed, she stumbled across the space and flopped down on the mattress.  She squeezed her eyes shut and prayed for sleep.

A calloused hand brushed over her cheek.  “What’s wrong?”

Her breath hitched in her chest.  “I miss you.”

“I know.  I’m sorry.”  Fingers smoothed her hair back as he placed a kiss on her forehead.

“Why did you go?”  Tears spilled from her eyes.  “How could you leave me?”

He kissed her temple, and the bridge of her nose.  “What if I had stayed?”  She nodded, desperate for his words.  He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close until their foreheads were touching.  “This is where I want to be.  Here, with you.”

Shoulders shaking, she held back quiet sobs.  “Oliver–”

His thumb brushed a tear from her cheek.  “Shhh.”  Cupping his rough hands around her face, he brought his lips to hers.  The kiss was even more tender than their first.  She could hardly believe that someone so jaded and hard could kiss her so delicately.  She lifted a shaky hand to his face.  She was almost afraid to touch him, as if he might disappear in a puff of smoke.

At her touch, he sighed, his breath hot against her mouth.  Her body shuddered.  He pulled her tighter against himself, his tongue swiping across hers, their legs tangled together.  In the pitch dark room, it felt as if nothing existed outside of their kiss.  She wanted it to go on forever.  Then his thigh nudged between hers, and pleasure spiked up her spine.  Felicity changed her mind; she couldn’t just kiss him forever.  She needed all of him.

Clearly, Oliver had the same idea.  He grabbed her leg and pulled it around his waist.  The kiss became wetter, messier, as they clutched at each other.  Felicity was practically whimpering with need.  Grinding against him, she could feel his erection through their clothes.  “Please,” she gasped.  Oliver cupped his hands around her ass, pulling her against the growing bulge in his pants.  “Please,” she begged again.

Suddenly his hands were under her clothes, pulling frantically.  “Gotta– get these out of the way,” he insisted.  The buttons nearly popped off her dress as he yanked it up over her head.  He made short work of her bra and underwear.  Felicity shivered at the sudden feel of cool air on her skin.  In the dark, she reached out for him.  He clasped his fingers through hers and pressed her arms down against the bed.  “No,” he insisted, “don’t wanna rush.”  He kissed the tender skin of her wrist, slowly making his way up the inside of her arm.

Felicity was left squirming and moaning as Oliver explored her body.  She arched her back, closing her eyes to the blackness of the room.  He was going to taste every inch of her, sucking and licking, sometimes gently biting, his tongue lingering over all the tender spots.  She was almost dizzy from breathing too fast.  “Oliver,” she moaned, “I need you, please…”  She tugged at his shirt.  “Take this off.”

He moved away just long enough to toss his clothes to the floor, but it was still too long. His hands found her waist.  “Felicity–” he breathed.  She clutched at his shoulders, wrapping her legs around him.  With a gravelly moan, he pushed himself into her.  She let out a ragged breath.  It was finally happening, and it was better than she’d ever imagined.

At first, he moved slow, agonizingly slow.  Her whole body was trembling as he moved in a steady rhythm.  She wrapped her hands around his biceps and held on for dear life.  “Yes, yes, oh God yes,” she repeated over and over.

Oliver faltered.  “You feel amazing,” he panted.  “I don’t think I can–”  Desperate, Felicity arched her hips up against him, forcing a groan from his throat.  His head dropped to her shoulder.  “Damn,” he whispered.  She tried it again, smiling at the absolutely wrecked sound it forced out of him.  Gasping, he kissed down her neck, then across her collarbone.  “Hang on, I’m not done with you.”  Without seeing his face, she could imagine his devilish smirk.

He sat back on his heels, lifting her legs over his shoulders.  Then he began to move again, quicker this time.  She writhed in wonderful agony beneath him.  His soft groaning with each thrust told her that he was struggling to hold on.  She was on the brink, too.

Oliver slid his hand between their bodies until his thumb found her clit.  Felicity threw her head back against the pillow, crying out.  His thumb circled as he kept moving inside her.  She clutched at the sheets, desperate noises coming from her throat.  “That’s it,” he coaxed, his voice rough.

The intensity was building in her gut, and she arched her body up, trying to reach it.  So close.  Oliver cried out.  Something about the vulnerability of the sound deeply affected her, and she reached up to grab him around the neck and pull him down.  “Too far away,” she tried to explain.

He wrapped his arms around her, bringing her closer until their noses bumped.  “Better?” he whispered with a smile.

“Yes.”  She dragged her fingernails up his back.

He let out a shuddering moan.  “Felicity…”

“Don’t stop.”  She wrapped her arms around him in a desperate tangle.

“Oh God–”  His whole body went rigid.  “Felicity!”  He came first, but she was quick to follow.  She heard herself cry out as her pleasure sent her over the edge.  It was overwhelming, blinding.  She faintly heard Oliver cry out again, along with her moans.

When her thoughts finally caught up with her body, Oliver had collapsed against her chest.  She could smell him all around her, mixed with her own scent.  His warm breath puffed against her damp, sweaty skin.  His whole body was quivering.  “I’m here,” she soothed.  She rubbed her hand across the stubble on his face.  “I’m yours.”  She ran her fingers over his lips, and he caught her hand in his, kissing the back of her knuckles.

As their bodies started to cool, he pushed himself up.  “Don’t go,” she whispered.

“Never,” he answered, and pulled the covers over them both.  “I will never leave you again.”  She fell asleep with his strong arms wrapped around her.

When she opened her eyes again, sunlight was starting to peek through the curtains.  Felicity stretched her arms above her head.  Her body still felt relaxed and tingly.  She sat up.  The bed was empty.  She was still wearing her clothes from work yesterday.  Felicity had slept alone.  None of it had happened.

She braced herself as the pain came back in waves.  Blinking away hot tears, she flopped back down onto the mattress.  Now she had two choices: either she lie here all day, wallowing in misery, chasing sleep in the hopes of having that dream again; or she could shower away her tears, suck it up, and go to work like everything was fine.

Maybe she could decide later.


End file.
